[Derek] We ask a lot of our patients.
We put them to sleep, cut them open,
poke around in their brains and guts with sharp instruments.
- We ask for their blind trust. - [Meredith] The blue one.
When in doubt, always go with blue. It brings out your eyes.
Thanks.
The hospital, the staff, they love Richard.
To them, I stabbed him in the back to get the job. They'll be mad at me.
- Just like you are. - I am mad.
That doesn't mean I don't think you'll do a great job.
I think you'll be a very good chief.
[Derek] Irony is, trust is hard for surgeons
because we're trained, from day one,
that we can't trust anyone but ourselves.
The only instincts you can count on are your own.
Either of you know what this big meeting's about?
- I heard there was a coup. - Webber's out, Shepherd's in. True?
- We know what you know. - Bull.
Your sister's married to the guy. Expect me to believe you don't know?
Don't you have your own loser friends to talk to?
Also heard Shepherd plans to clean house. Maybe he'll start with you.
I'm safe. The guy's my roommate. You're the ones who should watch your backs.
- Why? What do you know? - Simple math.
Shepherd hates the merger. You're from Mercy West. You're toast.
Derek's not gonna fire people just because they're from Mercy West.
He's not like that. He's loyal and fair.
Tell that to Webber.
[Derek] The only skills you can count on are your own.
Until, one day, you'll leave the classroom and step into the OR.
[Bailey] I think we've almost got the tumor out.
At this rate, we'll be finished early, Grey.
You might be able to catch the end of Shepherd's big speech.
- [Beeping] - [Meredith] She's tachycardic!
[Derek] You're surrounded by others. A team of others.
[Ben] I don't understand what happened. Everything appears to be in order.
[Bailey] There's no bleeders. I don't see any bleeders.
OK, I don't see a reason why down here.
So why is her heart rate going through the roof?!
- Check her anastomoses. - It's intact! Everything is intact!
What? Is? Wait, wait, wait. Did I just feel movement?
She's awake. Dr. Bailey, the patient's awake.
[Beeping]
[Derek] A team you have to rely on...
[beeping]
... whether you trust them or not.
What the hell did you do? What the hell did you do?!
Get her back to sleep right now!
[Meredith] OK, I know you're scared right now, but it's gonna be OK.
Everything is going to be OK. Just try to breathe.
Pushing 150 propofol.
[Indistinct chatter]
- Hey. - Hey.
- Think he's gonna give a big speech? - I don't know.
- So... about the other night... - I don't wanna talk about it.
[Indistinct chatter]
- What the hell is he wearing? - He looks good. Chiefly.
- He looks like an undertaker. - [Owen laughs]
- I promised him we'd clap. - Oh, now?
[Derek clears throat]
I wanna thank you all for being here. I know you're busy,
so I'll try to make this quick. As you may have heard,
I have been appointed the new interim chief of surgery.
It's my personal goal to make this transition as smooth as possible.
- I know we've had a rocky few months. - Here it comes.
- Mistakes have been made. - He's talking about the merger.
Shh!
[Derek] I intend to right those wrongs and...
[Alex] Told ya.
...bring this hospital back to its former glory.
Former glory? Undertaker needs a speech writer.
- We are screwed. - Yes, you are, sucker.
- Check it out. Chief Webber. - [Derek] And, um...
What I meant... Uh...
...by that is... What I'm trying to say is I wanna thank you
for your support, in advance. That's all. OK, let's get back to work.
Avery? I need you to round up my charts and bring them to room 2214.
Yang usually comes in early to do that.
Yang's not on my service today. You are.
[Arizona] Karev, I hear that you're the future of Peds.
- Excuse me? - Birdie named Bailey
whispered in my ear. I want you to work with me today
- so I can see if she's right. - What'd she say?
You're the best babysitter in the hospital.
- [Alex] Shut up. - [Chuckles]
You don't think Peds is hardcore? You can say that to my face, Avery.
- [Clears throat] No. No, ma'am. - Mm-hm.
Don't let the roller skates fool you. Peds is nothing but hardcore. Rounds.
In ten.
Peds. Who's the sucker now?
I heard that... [clears throat]
...Sloan was released from the hospital in LA.
That's good. Is she, uh... Is she coming back soon?
Mark? This is some kind of joke? You're not even gonna look at me?
Torres, I have a hip decubitus ulcer I need you to check out.
Mature. Really mature, Mark!
[Man] Basically, you have two options available to you.
Sign these, you're agreeing to an early retirement.
You'll take an early pension.
Your license to practice medicine will no longer be valid.
You'd walk away from this hospital, effective immediately.
- No strings attached. - You're not gonna sign that.
You're gonna sign this.
[Man] Which says that you are voluntarily enrolling yourself
into the Physicians Rehabilitation Treatment Program.
Go to rehab, Richard. You'll sober up.
You get out, you have your job waiting.
Pending board approval.
I need some time to think.
What is there to think about?
You aren't considering quitting, are you?
[Knocking on door, door opens]
Sorry to interrupt, but chief?
- Yeah? - Yeah.
[Woman] I'm sorry. Dr. Shepherd. There's a situation that needs your attention.
Excuse me.
- The patient was open on the table... - She had appropriate anesthetic.
- There is no way we should be liable. - Stop. Stop!
Just take a deep breath. You check on the patient.
OK.
This can happen. It's happened to me.
Any luck at all, she won't remember a thing.
- She won't remember to sue us? - Exactly.
OK. How was that? That was good, right?
- Very chiefly. Lose the tie. - Good. What? The tie.
Mr. And Mrs. Wilson? We're here to update you on the surgery.
We completed your tumor resection. I was able to resect the entire thing
- off of your abdominal wall. - Which is a good thing.
- Things went very well. - [Mrs. Wilson] Really?
How about the part when I woke up on the table?
How well did that part go?
Where I could smell my own burning flesh, how was that?
When I was lying there unable to speak
while I could actually feel you butchering my insides!
I couldn't move! I was awake and couldn't move and you had no idea!
How well did that part go?
Here's what we do. I'm gonna check the anesthetics themselves.
You draw a CBC, a chem 18 and let's do some genotyping studies.
Oh. Here's what we do? We? Did you not hear her?
The girl is traumatized. The only thing we are doing is getting sued!
- Because of you. - Where do you even get off
speaking to me like that? You have no idea what went wrong in that OR.
Here's what I know. I know that you're new here.
I know you probably still have a chip on your shoulder
'cause your parking space at Mercy West was better.
And I know you're an anesthesiologist, which means you make buckets of money
logging reasonable hours, sitting on your behind
and flipping through Architectural Digest while somebody on the other side
of the curtain does the real work, and gets sued for it.
- Excuse me... - I don't what they did at Mercy West,
but here at Seattle Grace, we expect to be able
to trust the gasman, trust him to do his job so we can do ours.
We expect the gasman to stay awake at the switch,
no matter how long and boring a procedure might be.
We expect the gasman to stay focused enough to keep the patient unconscious!
How long would you say Brad's been having the pain?
- Off and on for months. - [Arizona] Brad, is the pain constant,
or is it worse at times, better at others?
It's usually bad in the mornings, like right after breakfast.
Which, I might point out, is when he has to go to school.
But I feel it at other times, too.
Right, like when you have a Spanish test
or have to give a presentation in history class.
- Stress can exacerbate abdominal pain. - Please, don't encourage him.
- He's faking so he can miss school. - I am not!
Abdomen's soft, non-tender, not rigid. Bowel sounds are good.
Still, I'd like to cover all the bases. Dr. Karev, how would you proceed?
- We could try a triple contrast CT. - Let's do it.
Brad, this is gonna cost us thousands of dollars
and insurance only covers part of it. You know that, right?
I'm not faking it! I'm not faking it, Dad! I swear!
Dr. Altman? I noticed you have Avery assigned
- to all your surgeries this morning. - I do.
Um... So there's no room for me on your service?
You've been on every one of my cases since I've arrived.
This is a teaching hospital. It's only fair I give other residents a chance.
Yes, yes, of course. I understand. Um...
Do you think you'll have room on your service tomorrow, or the next day?
I... I... I don't know. I just...
I can't today, Cristina, OK? I just...
I can't.
Um, Leslie? Hi.
This will only take a moment. We just need to examine your...
- [Meredith] Hey, careful! - I don't want you to touch me.
- [Meredith] Leslie. - [Leslie] I mean it.
Don't let her touch me.
OK, uh, I know that you've been through a lot today,
- but if we don't check... - I remember.
I remember you screaming in surgery.
- You were panicking. - [Meredith] She's getting tachycardic.
- Panicking. - [Beeping]
With your hand inside my body. You just...
Dr. Bailey, her incision site is bleeding.
[Leslie gasping]
- She ripped it open. - I mean it! Don't touch me!
- OK! - I don't want you to touch me!
- Grey, redress the wound. - Don't touch me!
Use the dressing to apply pressure with one hand.
Grab as much gauze as you can with the other.
OK. See that tape? You're gonna need a nice, long piece.
- Uh-huh. - [Gasping]
- Hey. Need some help? - No. I'm good. Thanks.
- OK, never mind. - I need to talk to you about Mark.
- Could you not rip those? - He isn't speaking to me.
He barely even looks at me. And I know that we broke up,
but we still work together and I'm gonna be a plastic surgeon.
- You're not gonna be a plastic surgeon. - Still.
OK. We're gonna have to see each other every day.
He's best friends with my sister's Post-it husband.
- I don't know what to do. - I know. He's not exactly being fair.
- No, he's not being fair! - Seriously,
go easy on the cast padding.
At least, he could be civil. I had a one-night stand, OK? Big deal.
Right.
- Not like he didn't sleep with Addison. - True. More than once.
- What? - Hm?
Nothing. I didn't say anything.
More than once? More than once?!
[Gasps] Ha!
[Alex] What about that? That spot? See it?
[Arizona] Oh...
- That was lint. - [Alex] Doesn't make sense.
No kid wants to be the loser missing class to go to the hospital,
- I don't care how lame you are. - I loved the hospital when I was a kid.
No school, lots of cool medical supplies to play with.
OK, yeah. So let's go over it again.
He presented with severe but intermittent abdominal pain.
- No discernable pattern. - Labs were normal. No fever.
- Soft abdomen on exam. - We're missing something.
- Chronic mesenteric ischemia. - Ah! It's a stretch for a kid,
- but if he had vascular problems... - It fits the symptoms.
- It doesn't show up on the scans. - But the problem is,
the only way to get an accurate diagnosis
- is try an exploratory laparoscopy. - So?
Brad's father didn't want us to run a CT.
You really think he's gonna agree to exploratory surgery?
[Sighs]
[Door opens]
Hey.
Teddy is blackballing me. She's not saying that's what she's doing,
but I think that's...
I don't want to talk about Teddy. Do you want to talk about Teddy?
No.
I heard he had some kind of mental breakdown.
- I heard it was drugs. - No way. Prescription or?
Go practice medicine. Now.
Richard. This, sitting here, this isn't good.
This isn't helping things. Just sign the paper, go to rehab.
- Sign the paper. - Who the hell do you think you are?
Who do you? You are not my boss.
And you are not my chief. You may have stolen my office out from under me...
You're in trouble and I'm trying to help you.
I helped you! I didn't get you fired!
You got fired the minute you took your first drink!
- Get out of my face! - No. You're not gonna do this.
You're not ending your career to get back at me.
I did what I had to do, and nothing more.
You look me in the eye, and you say that again.
I wanted the job.
I wanted the job, I admit that. I didn't want to end your career.
Well, that part's not up to you, is it? You did what you had to do.
But this part is up to me.
- So get out. - No!
Stop it! Both of you! People are watching.
Get back to work.
[Seagulls crying]
[Indistinct chatter]
- The gasman would like an apology. - What?
Leslie Wilson's cytochrome P450 results.
The type she has means she metabolizes anesthetic drugs too fast,
way more rapidly than you or me. No way we could have known that before surgery.
- So this is why she woke up? - It is.
You don't have to get down on your knees and apologize.
But I would like something heartfelt. Something in the neighborhood of,
"You were right and I was rash and kind of mean."
Maybe throw in a, "Turns out you're a hell of a doctor."
It wasn't our fault. That's... That's good news.
She's gonna need a second surgery. Her incision site won't stop bleeding.
- She might have internal bleeding. - OK.
It's not gonna be easy, but now I know how to keep her under.
She won't let me touch her.
Oh.
I'm good with patients.
They always trust me. I... I... I've never...
I don't even know how to...
She won't let me touch her.
- Why are you walking like that? - I got a burn.
- Where? - Go away.
We're both doctors. No need to be embarrassed.
I'm not embarrassed! I'm just waiting for Meredith. Now, go away.
- I let you treat my tick. Come on. - This is not a tick.
Today sucks. Mark sucks.
Yang got burns on her girl parts.
I do not... It's not on my girl parts.
They're on her ass. Look how she's walking.
- Don't you two have patients? - How did you get burns on your ass?
- [Meredith] You paged? - Mer, come.
The rest of you, bye.
- [Meredith] Oh, my God! - Not so loud.
How did you? What did?
You have grate marks burned into your ass.
Vent marks. But same difference.
I was busy having sex. Will you please just dress the wound?
Owen's being very caveman-like.
It's hot, vaguely disturbing, but mostly hot.
I think he might still be a little upset I offered him to Teddy.
- Alex! - Alex!
- Hot cross buns. - Oh! That's gonna blister.
- Will you get them out of here? - [Pager beeping]
Bailey's paging me. Lexie, will you finish this for me?
- Oh, my God. I hate you. - [Meredith] I'm taking Alex with me.
- What? - Let's go. Come on.
- Ugh. - Is this a sex injury?
- Oh, my God. - It is.
I used to have sex injuries with Mark.
Mark was really awesome at leaving you with good sex injuries.
[Sobbing]
- Please don't cry on my ass. - I'm sorry.
Please don't cry.
- Hey. Are you? - Busy.
Dr. Altman, I pulled everything you asked for.
It's here in numerical order according to room number.
Numerical order?
- Is that not how? - It's fine.
Yang always orders them according to priority, most urgent to least urgent,
but... it's fine. It'll work. Follow me.
No. Just no.
You are not cutting open our son with no evidence that there's anything...
- Dad. - No! Listen to me.
That is thousands of dollars we're talking about on what, a hunch? Huh?
He's got a nervous stomach and crappy grades, that's it.
I hated school, too, Brad. OK? I got it.
Your mother and I, we have jobs and we go to them.
You have school, that's your job. No surgery. It's insane.
Just no. No!
You think it's right for them to take him home?
- It isn't. - Shh. Brad, I'm teaching.
- You think he's faking? - No.
- What are you gonna do? - I'd like to push his dad's face
- into a wall. No offense. - Yeah, no, that'd be good.
Barring physical violence, what are you gonna do? This is Peds.
Your patients can't advocate for themselves.
So in addition to surgery, a big part of the job is advocating for them.
You think you can do that?
[Alex] Yes, this is exploratory surgery,
and yes, Brad's scans look clean, but if we're right,
if he has mesenteric ischemia and you take him home?
The blood flow to his intestine will slowly stop,
killing the tissue, causing Brad to become septic,
forcing his body into such intense shock that by the time you realize
what's happening and you call an ambulance,
the chance of Brad getting back to the hospital alive is next to zero.
You think he's faking? I get that.
So the only real question is, how sure are you?
How sure?
[Bailey] I understand your hesitation.
But we don't have a choice. You need a second surgery.
Haven't you put her through enough for one day?
I can make some calls, see if we can get you transferred to another hospital.
A transfer takes time,
and the longer we wait, she's at greater risk for infection or blood loss.
I know you're scared. But the dressing I did earlier is only temporary.
- It needs to be fixed properly. - It was like being in a coffin.
Alive in a coffin.
I couldn't talk, I couldn't move.
The thought of your hand back inside me...
Sweetie. You don't have to do anything you don't want to do.
- [Leslie] You can do it. - What?
You were there.
You stayed calm.
You were kind.
Oh. Dr. Bailey is far more experienced.
She's not touching me.
You have to promise me she won't touch me.
You can do it.
She can't.
- [Mark] Hey! - [Derek] Hey.
What do you think of the present I got from Hunt for becoming chief?
From Hunt, huh? I was gonna get you one of those.
The deluxe version, the kind that keeps score. Not, you know,
- the cheaper one. - That's my chair.
I know. I like it. It makes me feel powerful.
That was quite a scene in the conference room earlier.
- You saw that. - The whole hospital did.
What happened there? How'd you dethrone the chief? And why?
- [Derek] I can't talk about it. - Not even to me?
- It's not my story to tell. - Heads up.
Looks like I'm facing a lawsuit. First day out.
- Patient wakes up on the table. - You know Lexie slept with Alex Karev
while I was in LA dealing with my sick daughter?
According to Meredith, you were doing more in Los Angeles
- than dealing with Little Sloan. - She dumped me.
Which is why you went back to sleeping with my ex-wife?
- You slept with his ex-wife? - Wait a second. You're remarried.
- What do you care? - The Karev thing is forgivable,
- considering. - Not to me.
- What? - Is that a hickey?
- Uh, it's a... It's a birth mark. - It is, it's a hickey.
[Laughs] Cristina and I have been...
...getting along. - You two are good together.
Not like me and Lexie. Way better than Yang and Burke.
Yeah, I never understood those two. They were too monosyllabic.
You know, I made a bet she'd never make it down that aisle. Won 50 bucks.
- What aisle? - You haven't heard that story?
- That's a good story. - It's not your story to tell.
Bailey's letting me operate on a post-op internal bleeding patient.
By myself. Do you think I can handle it?
I think I can.
Derek tells me you're thinking about quitting.
I think if my mother were here to see this,
she would kick your ass for even considering it.
[Arizona] These loops of bowel look clean, too.
- [Alex] Nothing. - [Arizona] Nothing.
[Alex] Crap. I bullied them into totally unnecessary surgery for their kid.
[Arizona] It wasn't unnecessary. By not finding anything,
we're one step closer to finding out what isn't wrong with Brad.
Which means we're one step closer to finding out what is.
At least, that's what you're gonna tell his angry parents.
- Me? - You bullied them into surgery.
You take the heat. More suction, please.
[Sucking]
- [Alex] BP took a dip. - Damn it. He's getting unstable.
Bolus him with a liter and let's get him closed.
We may not have found the problem, but there's absolutely something wrong.
You know, there isn't anything that says you can't operate.
Once she's under, she would never know.
I'm not operating on a patient who doesn't want me to operate on her.
If she wants a resident doing her surgery,
she gets a resident doing her surgery.
I wouldn't let you operate unless I thought you could handle it.
- I could perforate her bowel. - You won't!
I'll be with you the whole time.
Dr. Webber was mentoring you. There's no reason why I can't do the same.
The chief wasn't exactly mentoring me because of my talent.
Richard Webber is not a man who wastes his time on just anybody.
Last time he mentored a surgeon, it was me. You think I don't have talent?
Well, hurry up and finish scrubbing in. You got a patient waiting.
Do you really think Shepherd's gonna cut all of us?
- What? - The Mercy Westers.
Do you think we're all gone? Just tell me if you think
I need to start looking for a job.
Is there a reason our son is in ICU?
[Mother] Figure out what's wrong?
- Not exactly. - Why does he have a tube in his chest?
You said you were doing abdominal surgery.
Brad became briefly unstable in surgery.
So we had to put in a central line which got a little kinked, so his lung...
- Alex! - Are you saying you cut
into our son for nothing and caused more damage?
- Blood. Blood. - What?
There is a lot of blood in the chest tube.
Get a chest tray and some gloves!
He's already put out 700cc's of blood!
- What's going on? - You need to leave right now!
- Like hell we're leaving! - Somebody tell us what's going on!
He's crashing! Page Cardio and Robbins.
- We can't wait for Cardio. Crap! - What the hell is going on?
I need to open him up. Scalpel!
[Mother] Oh, my God. Oh, my God!
Get away from our son! Please get away from our son!
[Reed] He's bradying down!
More suction, please!
There! I think I got it.
- Let me in. What happened? - [Alex] He put out two liters of blood
in the last five minutes. I think I found the source
because the bleeding started to calm down.
[Teddy] Jump on. We're moving to the OR.
- Page Cristina Yang. - [Nurse] Right away, Doctor.
[Beeping]
[Cristina giggles]
Wait. Wait, hang on. Hang on!
- It's Teddy. It's Teddy! - So?
- You're not on her service. - No, but...
Don't go. She has another resident today.
Stay here with me. Stay here with me.
Don't go.
Please.
[Teddy sighs]
All right.
- [Arizona] What's going on? How is he? - [Teddy] He's critical.
He has a ruptured aortic arch dissection.
Hardly ever catch them, but Karev here may have worked a miracle.
Nice work, Karev.
[Teddy] Damn it.
Where is Yang? I need a second set of hands.
- You want me to scrub in? - Dr. Altman, I'm available.
[Sucking sounds]
- [Reed] She's waiting for Yang. - [Avery] Yeah, I know.
Believe me, I know I'm not Cristina Yang.
You've made that clear, but if you give me a chance...
I have very good hands. I can do this.
I can help.
[Sucking sounds]
[Sighs] Cannulate the femoral artery and vein,
then we're gonna cool him down fast.
We have 30 minutes to complete this repair or this patient is toast.
[Meredith] The bowel looks fine.
Good. Just check the anastomosis and keep going. Everything still good?
[Ben] BP's stable, BIS level's 45. She's sound asleep.
Just like the last time you asked. Two minutes ago.
[Meredith] Anastomosis looks clean. Bowels intact.
- Good, get a new mesh. - [Ben] And so you know,
I don't read Architectural Digest in the OR.
That magazine I read earlier?
That was the Journal of Clinical Anesthesia.
- In case you were wondering. - I wasn't.
[Meredith] Ready for the mesh. Suture, please?
Get a good bite of fascia.
Actually, I don't like the sitting down part of my job.
It's not great for the back, and I like to keep in shape.
So I can lift my big buckets of money.
I yell when I'm scared.
Some people whimper or duck, I yell.
When she woke up, it was one of the scariest moments of my life.
So I yelled. And then I yelled some more. It's what I do.
- Was that an apology? - Closest thing you're gonna get.
[Knocking on door]
Hey.
- Ooh! Nice skin graft. - Thank you.
- So I was talking to Lexie. - Why?
When? Why are you talking to her?
- No, she came to me. And actually... - Don't do this.
You're my friend, not hers. Don't take her side.
I'm not picking sides. I'm just saying she made some good points.
She dumped me and jumped into bed with Karev!
- She doesn't get to make good points! - Don't you think you're being?
What? Mad? Offended? Disgusted?
Hypocritical? Sexist? Lmmature?
She dumped me! Not the other way around!
She dumped me for wanting to step up and be responsible with my own daughter.
You know how big a step that is for me,
and you know how much I wanted to take that step with Lexie.
I'm not the one who's immature!
And you made me wreck my skin graft!
Leslie's out of surgery.
- How'd the repair go? - Just fine. No complications.
- Meredith did an excellent job. - Good. That's good.
Good news. [sighs]
- How's the lawyer? - Lawyer's still here.
- Drooling. - Damn it.
Tough first day, chief?
- Tough first day. - You know, nine times out of ten,
you can make a lawsuit go away if you apologize.
People like to feel heard. They like to feel respected.
And they like to hear an apology. That's what Chief Webber would do.
He'd walk right into that woman's room the minute she got out of recovery
and he'd apologize.
- Dr. Altman. - When I page you,
- I expect an answer. - I know. I'm sorry. I was just...
I had a ruptured aortic arch dissection, and...
- An aortic arch dissection? - I thought, at the very least,
I could rely on you to act professionally.
- Everything OK? - [Cristina stutters]
Dr. Altman, I'm sorry. You're right.
It won't happen again. I should've responded to your page.
No, wait. I... This wasn't Cristina's fault.
I detained her for a trauma thing.
Oh, really? Now you have something to say to me?
You know what?
Forget it.
- What? - What are you trying to do to me?
I'm... Cristina... I'm...
Come on!
- His heart ruptured? - This is unbelievable.
- How could you not find this? - His heart symptoms presented
as abdominal pain, which is an extremely rare presentation.
It's almost impossible to diagnose.
But the most important thing is that Brad is doing fine.
[Father] Fine?
You call him being hooked up to tubes and... You call that fine?
Dude, seriously, we're the only reason your kid's alive.
- Karev... - If you'd had it your way,
you'd have been home when Brad's aorta ruptured and he'd be dead right now.
Think about how much school he'd be missing then, huh?
[Arizona] Karev! We're done.
Excuse me. Follow me right now.
Go away, please, Bailey.
I don't want you to see me like this.
Uh, all due respect, chief, everybody's been seeing you like this all day.
And I don't know details. I don't know what's going on with you.
But you can't sit here anymore. Not like this.
I can't give them this.
Shepherd. Jennings.
If I do what they want me to do, it's like saying that they were right.
Right about doing this.
- Right about me. - Saying they're right about what?
They want me to say I'm an alcoholic.
Well, are you an alcoholic?
Yes.
But if I sign these papers, I have to stop drinking.
And go to rehab.
And I don't think I'm ready to do that.
Drinking, it feels a little bit like all I have left.
You are better than this. I've seen you be better.
Look, the way to win, the way to beat them,
is to stop fighting them. You go get better.
You be the man that I've always known you to be.
You be the chief.
Be the chief.
If you want to work in Peds, you can't get emotional.
- You said it was part of the job. - There is a difference
between advocating for tiny humans and berating terrified parents!
You're good with kids, I can see that. You've got great hands, great instincts.
We already knew that. You're as good as anyone I've seen
when it comes to advocating for patients.
But until you've been a parent,
until you've stayed up nights with a screaming infant
or dealt day in and day out with a terrorist toddler
or raised a lying teenager, you don't get to judge parents.
You have to advocate for the kids.
You don't get to berate terrified parents.
- You clear on that? - Yes.
Good. Then you go apologize to that family.
Karev?
You saved that kid's life today.
How'd it feel?
Feels great.
- Hardcore, right? - Yeah.
Welcome to Peds.
[Derek coughs, clears throat]
I know it's been a long day and you're all anxious to get home,
but I feel like we got off on the wrong foot this morning.
I don't expect to win your trust overnight.
But I want each of you to know you have mine.
Which is why I felt it was important to personally come in here and...
- [knocking] ...apologize.
Mrs. Wilson, do you have a moment?
[Derek] I want to clear some things up.
I'd like to offer each of you your jobs back.
There are gonna be cuts down the line.
But you both deserve a fighting chance.
- Oh, my God. - Thank you, Dr. Shepherd.
Thank you. Thank you. [laughs]
[Derek] I am neither pro nor anti-merger.
From this point on, everyone has a clean slate.
I'm not focused on the past.
[Lexie sobbing]
[Door shuts]
[Keys jingle]
I'm trying to understand you.
You've been trying to screw me into submission.
- I was not. - You've been trying to screw me
into submission. And I let you because the sex was so good,
- and your ego was hurt. - I'm trying.
I am trying to understand you. I am trying to know you.
I am trying to... love you.
And I don't know how. I don't know how, 'cause you don't give me anything.
The vent burn was you branding me? Like I'm chattel?
I'm trying!
I don't know you. I don't know you 'cause you don't give me anything.
- I give you everything. - Burke.
- What? - Burke. Preston Burke.
You were engaged. There was almost a wedding. Why didn't that happen?
No. No, I'm not... We're not doing this.
See? You give me nothing!
Maybe... Maybe I was trying to screw you into submission.
Maybe I was trying to... connect.
I'll try anything, I'll try anything, but you have to give me something back.
- Well, Burke is irrelevant. - Like I'll be in three years time?
- That's not fair. - I'm trying to love you.
Why won't you let me?
Burke...
Burke was, uh...
He took something from me.
He took little pieces of me.
Little pieces, over time. So small I didn't notice.
He wanted me to be something I wasn't.
And I made myself into what he wanted.
One day I was me, Cristina Yang, and then, suddenly,
I was lying for him and jeopardizing my career
and agreeing to be married and wearing a ring and being a bride.
Until I was standing there in a wedding dress with no eyebrows,
and I wasn't Cristina Yang anymore.
And even then I would've married him. I would have.
I lost myself for a long time.
And now...
...that I am finally me again...
...I can't...
I love you. I love you more than I loved Burke.
I love you. And that scares the crap out of me.
Because...
...when you asked me to ignore Teddy's page,
you took a piece of me.
And I let you.
And...
[sobbing]... that will never...
...happen again.
[Derek] I'm looking to the future.
- You feel better? - A little.
This really isn't gonna work for me.
[Derek] To all the promise this hospital has to offer.
[Derek] I plan to honor Richard Webber and his legacy.
Not undo it.
Thank you, Richard.
I'm sorry.
[Derek] Which is why I'm both humbled and honored
to be your new chief of surgery.